I don’t feel brilliant so I’m just going to do a bullet-pointed list of crap that’s going on.
- I don’t care about my weight much anymore. I hate to say I’ve given up on it. Maybe it’s just been overshadowed by my focus on getting healthy. My compulsive scale-stepping behavior is dwindling, and I don’t care. I don’t care about being attractive to anyone anymore so maybe that’s part of the reason. I still want to be clean and look professional for work, but other than that I’ve sort of given up on ever looking good again.
- My blood pressure is high. I thought it would be lower with all the magnesium and potassium I’ve been getting in fruit/vegetable juices lately…but it’s high. Today it was 149/99.
- I can digest more foods now, like nightshades, eggs, and cheese. I’m not having a histamine reaction to everything anymore either. I attribute this to a month of colostrum and L-glutamine, combined with carbohydrates in my diet again. I think for me a low carb diet reduces the building materials the body needs to rebuild the gut wall. Won’t be doing that again. I sold my Ketonix device on ebay.
- I’ve been listening to Dr. Daniels’ podcasts. She is really pretty way out there. In a podcast I listened to yesterday (episode released 1/5/16) she was saying that ultrasounds during pregnancy are like dropping a grenade on the baby. And she sounded critical of cutting the cord after a baby is born. I can’t decide if she’s nuts or brilliant. Sort of the same way I perceive Jack Kruse.
- I looked into getting consultation with Dr. Daniels. She charges $350 for a half hour consultation. She apparently has a 16-week coaching program for $5,000, which is pretty reasonable considering it includes weekly 1-hour coaching calls with Dr. Daniels. The initial $350 for an initial consultation is probably intended to screen out people who aren’t wealthy enough for the longer program. She’s wrong though…I would consider spending 5K on a 16-week program, but we’ll never know if it would be a good fit because I wouldn’t spend that much for a brief initial consultation. Seriously, it’s over $10 a minute.
- I’m not confident in Humaworm. Once I used a stimulant laxative (dulcolax) and became very depressed the next day – apparently agitation of the large intestine has the same effect on me as eating starch or fiber. After ordering Humaworm I realized it contained Senna, which is a stimulant laxative. So now I’m afraid the Humaworm is going to spin me into a depression. I’m not going to be able to tolerate that for a month. It ruins my ability to function in life at an acceptable level.
- I’m fairly convinced I have parasites…but as I’ve mentioned before I tend to get my mind wrapped around a certain diagnosis and become convinced I have it. So maybe not. I’m open to the idea of using Turpentine again, but I’m not sure how to increase bowel elimination to 3x per day. Juice all day long leaves me hungry and I can’t tolerate fiber. Meat and cheese probably slow down transit a little, but I’m not sure what else to do. I dunno. There are other kinds of laxative agents….maybe I’ll look into that a little. I’m not constipated…I just don’t want there to be any chance that parasites or their toxins get reabsorbed. My current elimination pattern is 1-2 times per day.
- I have no idea who I am anymore. Who would I be if I wasn’t battling this depression and anxiety? This constant hunger and fatigue? What if I could just be a healthy person whose body functioned well all day? I can imagine it because I’ve had days like that. But it doesn’t last very long. I don’t even know if I’d be interested in health and wellness at all if not for my current struggle. I used to be interested in eating disorders…until mine went away (thanks to eating more food and stopping the chronic dieting and starvation cycle). I used to be interested in addictions until I stopped working at a restaurant and partying every night. I used to be interested in helping people with relationship problems, and studied to be a counselor…until I got married and stopped being lonely. No idea who I would be.
- My focus in life has had to get very narrow. I care about keeping my head above water at work (because I am financially supporting my family) and making sure my daughter has a nice life. Those are the things I put my energy into. I’m trying to fix my health so that those two things can happen. Without it, both suffer. Plus…it sure would feel good to feel good again.