One thing I’ve come to accept is this: If I ever manage to pull out of this depression and heal myself enough to feel happiness on a daily basis, I will NEVER. EVER. AGAIN. eat starchy foods. How many times now have I tried to kill the Beast only to have it grow back – stronger than before – when I started eating starch again. I beat it back with garlic in 2014. I beat it back with oregano oil and herbal voodoo in 2015. I’m trying to do the same now with Biocidin. I’m facing weeks of depression right now for eating starchy foods a little while ago. I don’t ever want to go through this again.
My relationships are suffering because of my mood. I’m suffering. At work sometimes I just start crying and hold my sweaty fucking head in my hands because I can’t effectively write reports or go talk to people. Social anxiety is high. Mood is low. My brain still doesn’t work right. I know all there is to do at this point is to kill it and not allow it to regrow. Ever.
Enough of my life has been lost to this mess.
Still in it. Hoping to see the light soon.