Things can stop sucking now. Seriously. No, I’m serious.

Holy crap I really just want to complain right now.  I know what’s going on.  My brain is being poisoned.  I’m trying so hard to eat a low carb diet and I honestly don’t think I’ve made it through an entire day without eating a whole bunch of something wrong, out of a desperate desire to feel better.  I feel tired and irritable, depressed, angry, all that crap people feel when they try to give up living on carbohydrates. I can be FULL of wonderful things – eggs, vegetables, bone broth, whatever – and I feel like my blood sugar is low and I want to eat more.  I check my blood sugar and it’s not low.  It’s never low.

So today I made it all day.  Then ate a bunch of chocolate chips at about 7PM.  I’m on a ridiculous roller coaster.  I want to be one of those happy paleo people that never get hungry.  Forget to eat.  I was one of them once upon a time.

I miss Ray Peat.  I can’t go back right now though.  I need to clear up whatever ridiculousness is going on in my gut.  The orange juice and dairy were fueling it.

My husband told me he wants me to start taking antidepressants and antianxiety medicine.  I told him no! – I’m finally getting the testing done that I’ve wanted to do and I’ve got a practitioner to help me by designing a treatment plan based on the results!  All this time spent self-medicating because I couldn’t afford this very thing!  And now I can afford it!  I promised him that if I’m not doing significantly better by July of this year I’d revisit the topic.  At that point I won’t know what else to do.  Getting elaborate testing and working with a functional medicine practitioner are really the best ideas I have. If this doesn’t work maybe I should just give up.  Go on Metformin.  And Wellbutrin.  And Klonopin.  Give up.

I’m feeling desperate.  And depressed.  My relationships are suffering.  I feel terrible.

I got my testing stuff in the mail yesterday.  Will get this stuff back to them as soon as I can.  Probably Monday.  I need answers.

8 thoughts on “Things can stop sucking now. Seriously. No, I’m serious.

  1. Hang in there. It’s impossible to think rationally when you’re so unbalanced. You’re neurotransmitters are certainly whacky. That’s what a messed up gut does. Do request a neurotransmitter screen ASAP, so at least you’ll know (and it’s a more affordable test). You just can’t know otherwise. My serotonin was tanked, but my genetic snp makes me inefficient in clearing excess, so when I was medicated to raise it by an uninformed MD, it skyrocketed. Either extreme spells baaaad news. I’ve learned through my new doc to raise it slightly with 5htp, and to pay attention not to get overloaded, and back off as needed. He also advised me to just embrace the symptoms for now, they won’t be gone fast, and quietly remind myself that they are very typical of this layered problem. My family is on the same page, so they understand these rough days when I would ride the mood roller coaster, balling one minute and a shrieking banshee the next. Those worst days do pass and we do recover. You just don’t have all of your info and tools in place just yet. You’ll get there. 🙂
    1. Glycemic control. 2. Neurotransmitter (mood and sleep). 3. Mitochondrial support 4. Gut rebalance…..then a long, slow 4 month wait for my body to respond…..and on to 5. Methylation and 6. Detox.
    That’s me. You’re order of go may be different. Your labs will indicate. My steps 1-4 were all going on simultaneously. I had already worked very very hard on my gut. I didn’t require antibiotics for a clinical dysbiosis, but did still have ‘speciation imbalance’. This was even after doing the full Gaps diet and addressing candida over the past 18 months. Anyway….have faith on these dark, winter days. This will pass!

  2. Thanks, Susie. I am having some kind of test done that looks at neurotransmitters. If it doesn’t tell me enough I’ll get more done. Desperation wins the race. I guess this could be a long process and maybe 6 months isn’t enough time to evaluate, but I hope to have some moments of clarity during that time that let me know I’m on the right track..

  3. Lanie, I really feel for you. I get it. My body (and brain) are hurting too and it’s just so hard when you feel as though you’ve got to figure it all out on your own. I found your blog when Googling about the Gut Thrive program. Thanks so much for posting about your experience though I’m really sorry it didn’t work out – I was hopeful too. Anyway, I personally am turning to the GAPS diet protocol in hopes of healing myself. I too am just about to get some testing done (2 different stool tests to look for various pathogens I might be dealing with – I am not absorbing my food properly – plus an Organic Acids test). Anyway, I haven’t had time to read thru lots of your posts so I don’t know if you’re familiar with GAPS but maybe it’s an option for you. It’s designed to heal and seal your gut – sounds like that’s what you need. Also, it sounds like you need to up your carb intake – this is purely based on my current research into the gaps diet – try eating more veg in the day – or drink a cup of homemade fresh juices (some combo of carrot, Apple, celery, ginger, and 5% beet). See how you go with that. Again – I really feel for you. I’m there too. I rang in the new year with teary eyes. But im gonna get better and so will you. Don’t give up. 😀 (ps. I have decided to stop buying choc chips … those little buggers call to me everytime I go into the kitchen.)

  4. haha..yeah, I don’t normally have a problem resisting sugar…unless I’ve given up all carbs. Then I get desperate. Thanks for the sympathy – we are very much on the same path. I take it you didn’t go the Gut Thrive route? I’m curious to see how the folks do on that program. I’m sure there will be lots of opinions floating around the web about it in the next month or two, as they finish the 6-week protocol. I hope it works for them…I just wasn’t up for being someone’s experiment, after all. Thanks for the support!

  5. Oh boy. Sounds like trouble. Does this plan need you be in low carb? The probiotics you tried before were the capsules acid stable? Really curious what your workup is gonna show. Honey will give you GERD?

    There are some new drugs for diabetes you might want to look into if you need it. GLP1 agonists DPP-4 inhibitors work on different pathways. Bile acids can act on GLP1 and could potentially get sugars down. Hopefully you wont need drugs to fix these issues. Hang in there.

  6. The PLAN doesn’t need me to be low carb, my BODY needs me to be low carb. I’m having problematic symptoms when I eat any sugars now. I don’t have GERD or heartburn. The problems with sugar are bloating, fatigue, and tongue swelling/soreness. Thanks for the info on the diabetes drugs. I’m going to see if any progress is made on my current track – in a few months if things don’t look better I’ll definitely be looking at medication. Thanks, N2P.

  7. Hi, I’m new to your blog, and just jumping in from your Gut Thrive review to this point, so perhaps you’ve done this: have you tested your adrenals, as well? I have some of your issues –gut, perhaps parasites, irritability, low energy…its a multilayer issue, as you know. I’m going to reread The Schwarzbein Principle II, as she gives a realistic protocol on how to heal the adrenals, serotonin, etc.
    Nice, honest blog.
    I went through Gut Thrive, and symptoms seem to be coming back. Too soon to say. I can tell my adrenals need to be addressed as I routinely wake up at 11.30 (aprox) at night. Can’t heal when sleep isn’t on board.
    Thanks again, for your posts. Will read more later. ~ D

  8. Hey Donna – I did have my adrenals tested, just last month. Here are the results:

    Basically I do have adrenal fatigue, though i don’t even know if that’s an actual diagnosis. After bailing out of the Gut Thrive thing I hooked up with a functional medicine practitioner and had lots of gut testing done, as well as the adrenals, hormones, and testing for nutrient deficiencies. I’m now on a supplement regimen and I’m starting to feel much better (only 2 weeks in at this point). Did you find the Gut Thrive program to be beneficial? I know I was very negative about my experiences with it, but I didn’t actually do the program. I was just feeling so awful and the delays and mishaps with the first run of the program were really frustrating to me. I hope you had a good experience.

    If you click on the blog title at the top of the page you’ll be taken to current posts where I’m talking about the testing I’ve had, the person I’m working with now (Amelia Luker) and the supplements I’m taking.

    Thanks for visiting. 🙂

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