It’s 1:44AM.  Having a hard time sleeping because of all the GI distress currently going on in me.  Sounds like thunderclouds in there.  Let’s list the possible culprits:

1.  On the advice of a commenter, I had 2T of unfiltered apple cider vinegar before and also after breakfast.  It made me feel all heart-burny and not very good.

2.  Had probiotic AFTER eating breakfast today, instead of before.  But seriously, that was like 19 hours ago.  Wouldn’t any effect from that be done by now?

3.  I ate a couple of red potatoes out of the fridge with salt but no butter.  Less digestible, according to Peat, than eating them with fat.

4. Ate a bunch of gluten free pretzels.  Gluten free junk food, really.  But I’ve done this before and didn’t feel this way.

It was 7:00PM this evening and my blood sugar was 200.  Went for a bike ride, despite massive bloating, to bring it down.  Half hour later it was down to 123.  Success.

I’ve been thinking about a comment made on yesterday’s post.  Something along the lines of, “Maybe stop obsessing and things will right themselves.”  (<– only said better than this.)  I mused on that during my bike ride and while lying in bed tonight unable to sleep because of all the commotion in my gut.  Maybe I should just stop worrying about it, get on metformin, get on blood pressure meds, buy some fat girl clothes and get on with my life, right?  Think of all the time I’d have.  I wouldn’t be on Facebook learning about what Ray Peat has to say about X.  I wouldn’t be writing this now instead of trying to sleep.  I wouldn’t have spent $12 on Paul Jaminet’s book.  So why do I keep doing this?  Is it just the quest for the truth about health?  Is there even any chance I can be healthy again?

One thing I get out of this is folks to talk to.  Since moving 3 times in one year in 2012-13, to three different states, I don’t have real friends anymore.  I’ve left all of them.  I have people I swing by and see when I’m in town, or whom I text on their birthday, but I don’t have friends anymore.  Trying to figure out my health gives me a community of sorts – not a real community or anything, but people to talk to about stuff.

Crap…I think the gastro distress is raising serotonin and making me morbid.

Or maybe I’m sad for real.

Things just seem really hard right now.  My enjoyment of life seems to be chronically low.

I feel like I need help.

7 thoughts on “Serotonin

  1. Oh Lanie I feel your pain. The quest for the truth about health. I’m about to turn 40 tomorrow and have been dealing with all of this at least since I was17. People say try Yoga. Well if I could shut my mind off long enough to try it that would be nice. Sorry to vent.. I never got to have children. I can’t afford health insurance. The only decent thing I own is my car which I am still paying for. When will I be happy? When will I feel good? When will I have fun? What is fun? See I am sad. Already on effexor and can’t get off it cause the withdrawals. Ugh what’s a girl to do….? Anyway I will think of you and hope you find peace with all u r dealing with. Hugs, Cheryl

  2. If you look at actual pt records its not that simple. The list of meds and procedures needed grow over time. (antidepressants and GI meds to reduce “acidity” gets added to the list at some point). GI distress is pretty common no matter what the meds they are on requiring multiple endoscopies and biopsies which usually are negative.

  3. I’m not sure what you’re referring to as not being that simple. I don’t typically have GI distress. In fact, that is one area of my health that I can usually count on as being regular and uneventful.

  4. Cheryl, feel free to vent to me anytime! My mind doesn’t quiet down either. It used to be so bad I’d always have to have noise on – TV, radio, anything – to drown it out. I can be ok in quiet now, but still, the chatter. Keep reaching for better, keep experimenting. If you’re not diabetic, eat lots of sugar. That made me feel awesome. 🙂

  5. I meant you cant just pop a metformin and a lisinopril and expect everything to be fine. Doesnt work like that also. Every drug is a struggle. As symptoms pile on the list of drugs just grows. Its not a stable situation there too.

  6. Check some Peat inspired labs like estrogen, prolactin, serotonin etc If those are high you wouldn’t know what fun means.

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