Stepped on the scale today…and now I’m up to 195.  Awesome.

Gary Taubes’ book, Why We Get Fat changed how I think about gaining weight.  I no longer sit around and blame myself for eating too much (well, I do a little, but less than I used to), even though there’s no doubt I’m eating more now than 6 months ago (hence the weight gain).  The thing is, my appetite is greater now.  The real question is “Why?”  What caused my appetite to grow?

Whatever.  I started researching to find cool links to provide alternate hypotheses to the conventional wisdom…but I just don’t wanna.  I don’t have the energy or the motivation right now to be thorough and attempt to educate the masses.  Let’s face it – My brain is screwed up.  I do notice that when I’ve been eating carbs it’s hard to stop.  Also, stress and lack of sleep make me want to eat more.  So even without a PhD. in Biochemistry I know I should get more sleep and rearrange my life so it’s less stressful.  Check and check…working on both.

I try to stick with a ketogenic diet…over and over…and I keep failing to do it.  It’s kind of stupid…like yesterday I ate in a ketogenic manner all day and at about 10:00PM my husband asked me if I wanted a cracker.  So I ate about 15 of them.  Huh?  Why?  I wasn’t even hungry.

Alcohol is counterproductive when attempting to follow a ketogenic diet.  I stop drinking alcohol for a few days at a time and then I drink again. I’m not an alcoholic. I just like drinking. In the face of stress it makes me feel better.  I’m obviously not very good at calming myself without the use of chemical agents.  Again it’s back to stress.  I have fantasies that after we move and I’m not working full time anymore (I’ll still be working part time – already lined up) I’ll be able to get enough sleep and have time to do things that are relaxing and fun like reading or seeing people that I care about.

This move to California has been very educational.  Leaving one’s comfort zone is often the highly touted route to “your real life” or to real happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  That’s stupid.  I haven’t had a comfort zone for 5 months now and my health is worse, I’ve aged myself inside and out, I’m poorer financially, and I’m less happy.  If I see another one of these on Facebook I’m going to comment, “Yeah? Prove it.”


Go screw yourself, Facebook.

4 thoughts on “Awesome

  1. One word. STRESS. You already know this.

    Another area you might want to look at is your gut health. Are you eating fermented foods? Pickles, sauerkraut; drinking kombucha? I don’t know for a fact but I suspect (and Jack pretty much confirmed it) that cravings and eating badly are directly related to gut health. If your gut bacteria are a mess, you’re gonna be a mess.

    It has taken me well over a year of struggling on the leptin RX to finally reach a point where I simply don’t want any of that old crap. Hubby brings in it and tries to hide it (so I won’t lecture him) but it doesn’t matter. I simply don’t want it. I eat plenty of fat for breakfast (BAB) and then try to work in fish at least once a day even if it’s just an 82cent package of water packed sardines. I like crunch so eat a few sweet potato chips with it. I try to remember to eat at least 1/2 and avocado with dinner just to be sure I get enough fat.

    When you feel bad, trust me, you will eat bad (sorry for the lousy grammar but you get my drift).

    One other question to ask yourself is are you SURE you’re eating enough? A couple of times (last night for example) I thought I’d had plenty to eat. 2 hours later my stomach is yelling at me. Coconut manna/butter to the rescue.

    I”m happy to hear you have work lined up when you get home. And that’s it just part-time. MY NSHO on this is you need a break!

  2. That’s my NSHO opinion too! Good advice about tending to gut health. I do like kombucha. I’ll go get some today. Thanks 🙂

  3. Yep Agree with Darleen here. When you feel bad its difficult to eat right. Find something even if small other than carbs that will make you feel a touch better. Walking in the evening perhaps or take the baby to the park or something. Are you close to the beach?

    Good to know you have a part time job lined up. Thats awesome. One less thing to worry about. Once your ASI looks better you could work full time. Your ASI is no shape to handle a full time job.

    80/20 rule doesnt work for me and it looks like it doesnt work for you either. 90/10 doesnt work either. If I eat carbs I crave them massively. If I dont eat them at all its much better. Your appetite is higher because you are in sugar burning mode now and your body is craving fuel. It has plenty (as fat) but it cannot see it. It will take time to unlock that pathway. The D-ribose will help as will Magnesium and ubiquinol. Electrons or not seafood always makes me feel better than anything else. Eating carbs doesnt really fix my energy problem and I am back at the same place five minutes later.

  4. Yeah, I’m definitely not an 80/20 kind of girl. All refined carbs are poison to me. Darn it. Hopefully a month from now things will be rosier.

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