Paleo Bread…and Doubt

I went a little colder with the CT last night to see if I could get numbed up again, which used to feel really good.  So it was 46 deg F for 35 minutes.  It didn’t feel significantly different getting in, and definitely felt better, longer.  I could have stayed in longer.  It was a 4 out of 5 (5 is when I’m practically laughing it feels so good).  It did take longer to warm up though – I’d guess about 15-20 minutes of shivering afterward.  Not terrible.

Today I got an email from Paleobread – a new company that offers almond and coconut-based bread – notifying me that they’re now in full production and are ready to ship.  The Ingredients are simple and I can pronounce all of them.  I ordered one of each to try them out.  It would be nice to be able to give Babykins peanut butter and jelly now and then.  The price of the bread is reasonable – $7.99/loaf.  The shipping is kind of high though – they only ship UPS air because of the perishable nature of the product.  The cost for 2 loaves, with their $5 off promo code (1776), shipped, was $25.04.  At that price it would have to be really good to order again.  I hope it is!

I ate some dairy yesterday.  Not too much – less than an ounce of cheese and a tablespoon of sour cream.  I don’t feel awful or anything after eating dairy, but I was a little bloated last night.  I guess that means I really shouldn’t be eating it.  My sticking point continues to be going out to eat with other people.  What do I do when there’s absolutely nothing on the menu that is dairy/grain/msg/nighshade free?  I’ve been encouraged to eat before/after and just go along for the ride.  I’d rather just not go at all, honestly, than go and not eat with others when they’re eating.  Eating together feels…for lack of a better tem…”spiritual” somehow.  Like, it’s something that has bonded humans forever.  I know it would make everyone uncomfortable (most of all, me) if I was just sitting there not eating while everyone else is.  I guess my best bet is probably to eat before or after and just eat a bowl of lettuce or something with others.

I hate social situations where I can’t fade into a supporting role.  I’m not the lead actor when I’m with others…and I like it that way.  I hate when the attention is on me and people ask me questions about what I’m eating and why.  If I was visibly losing weight it might be ok…at least I could say, “This is why I’m doing this…I’m clearly losing weight.  See?”  As it is I’m losing at a snail’s pace and it’s hard to answer the question, “Why?”  Why am I ordering a bowl of lettuce with nothing on it while everyone else is eating Italian beef or tacos or burgers with fries?  Seriously…why?  Cuz some charismatic guy on the internet told me I’d get healthier?

Well…am I getting healthier?

I don’t know.

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