Better

CT was a 65 degree cool bath (30 minutes) yesterday.  I didn’t have any ice to cool it down further than that.  I did buy 10 1-liter bottles that I filled with water and which are currently freezing.  I’ll see how far that gets me tonight.  There’s room in the kitchen freezer for probably 10 more, if necessary.

Food/eating is back on track again.  I’m tracking what I eat with Cronometer, which will give me a breakdown of the nutrients in my diet and let me know where I might be falling short.  It’s a little tedious to enter everything I’m eating, but I am curious about calories and macronutrient breakdown.  Yesterday’s totals were as follows:

  • 1880 Calories
  • 69%  fat
  • 30% protein
  • 1.4% carbohydrate

Yesterdays mood was good.  On a scale of 0-3, it was a 3.  I suppose I should define these numbers….I wasn’t screaming from the rooftops or anything, but I felt good all day.

Cheers.

More Plans

I’ve started Project Empty Freezer.  We’ll be eating salmon and chicken this week.

In addition to the plans outlined in the previous post, I’ll be doing the following, for at least a while, maybe longer:

  • Keeping data on my moods at the end of each day, using a 0-3 Likert-type scale (e.g., 0 = terrible mood, depressed, crying, arguing with people, while 3 = great mood, feeling high on life, that kind of thing.) I’m doing this to collect baseline data so I have some objective information when the time comes to address my hormonal problems.
  • Tracking what I eat.  I’m not going to be obsessive about this, and I’m not going to be counting calories or grams of anything.  I really just want to see what makes me feel good and what doesn’t make me feel good.

So I’ll be starting these things today, in addition to the variables I already track (fasting blood glucose, weight, and various labs periodically).

I’m happy to be home and back into my routine today.  Had a BAB of sirloin steak and eggs sauteed in coconut oil.

During travel yesterday I was doing some reading on Dr. Kruse’s forum and blog, and I’ve been reminded that I have a fat storage problem, most likely related to my hormones being out of balance. I do NOT have a character flaw that involves being a pig and eating too much.  I’m doing the best I can to address it, but it’s going to take a while to fix this.  I’m learning as I go.

Here are some things I’ve learned lately that I’ve been pondering:

1.  Colder is better.  Much more happens when you CT at temps below 60.

2.  Emotions are chunks of chemicals swimming around together.  When these chemicals have been stored in fat and are released, or when any emotional reaction strikes out of the blue, it’s again NOT a character issue.  This is your body reacting to a chunk of chemicals.  It’s important to stop adding judgment to it.

3.  I’m never going to be able to do what other people do.  The sooner I accept this the better.  I spend a certain amount of time wondering why I can’t eat what my husband eats and still feel good…why I can’t take the easier way out, just one day, and get away with it.  I just can’t.  I don’t get to eat carbs.  I feel like crap when I eat them.  End of story.

Off to work this morning.

Thank you, to those of you that stop by to read this.  You make me feel like I have partners in my quest for health.  I really appreciate you.

Plans

Heading home tomorrow morning.  I know how things fell apart while I was traveling.

No BAB.

They did have a breakfast buffet here at the hotel, but it was comprised of reconstituted eggs and some poor-quality salty nitrate-laden meat, as well as many other things I wouldn’t even consider eating (fruit, yogurt, bread, etc.).  I ate what I could, and tried to eat a lot in the mornings, but it just didn’t taste good…and it didn’t feel good.  I felt tired and depressed every morning after eating breakfast.  I wonder if there was some kind of wheat or corn in those reconstituted eggs…

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to getting back to my regular routine.  With a few changes.

  • Progesterone Cream: I’ve decided to continue with the progesterone cream for the rest of this menstrual cycle.  At that point I would normally stop using it for a week anyway.  I’m just not going to start it up again.  I want to let my body find its natural baseline (or whatever baseline it’s at with CT and Leptin Rx).
  • Medical Attention:  I’m in the process of identifying a doctor that can help me with what I’m certain are hormonal problems.
  • CT:  I’m going to find a way to do 50 degree baths.  The first thing I’m going to do when I get home is take all of the food out of our freezer and move it to the fridge.  We’re going to be using the freezer now for freezing ice.  I don’t buy in bulk so I don’t really need to use the freezer much.  I may have to shop more, but that’s ok.  I’m going to start by getting as many 1-liter bottles of water into the freezer at once as I can, and see how much they’ll cool down the tub.  Baths will continue at 5-6 times a week, as I was doing before I left on this trip.
  • Supplements:  I’m going to start using DIM, Calcium D-Glucarate, and Mangensium Threonate.  The first two are to help control the messed up estrogen dump I’ve been experiencing when I use the colder water, and the Mag is to address inflamation and do other good things I can’t remember at the moment.
  • Diet: I’m going to be focusing on following a strict ketogenic Paleo diet.  Very few carbs.  No dairy.  No nightshades.
  • Exercise: It’s time to start lifting.

Have to go for now…others waiting to use the hotel’s ‘puter.

1AM…or is it 3?

Well, it’s 1:00AM Pacific Time…aka 3:00AM my usual time…and I’m awake, feeling off.  Bad diet for 2 days, and now I’m paying for it.  

I’ve noticed that I have a very hard time trusting people who don’t have data or research to back up their claims. I think this is generally a good thing, and it comes from working in a science-related field that relies upon hard data to evaluate treatment efficacy.  It works well for me most of the time, and I avoid a lot of quackery this way…but at times it also keeps me from experiencing the value in unproven phenomena.  Such is the case with regard to Kruse’s formula for health, longevity, and vitality.  He’s provided a pretty simple protocol.  I have so far only followed the parts of it that I like though, and have ignored the rest.  Over the next 24 hours I’m going to come up with a new strategy…looking at what I can do differently to better follow directions and stop pretending I know best. 

I’m not going to do this right now though, because the autocorrect on my iPad is making me FREAKING CRAZY.

Good night.

Off Track

I’m in Seattle right now…a far and wonderful cry from the flatlands of Illinois. It’s a business trip, but it’s the closest thing I’ll have to a vacation any time soon, so I’ve been treating it as such, to the extent possible. Unfortunately, my Paleo diet and Leptin Rx lifestyle are also on vacation. I’ve completely abandoned the habits I’ve been building over the last few months. It started because it was hard to stick to, and I was out of my typical surroundings. I tend to do well with routine, but don’t always generalize well when it comes to improvising. Oh well. Please…no scolding me in the comments. That wouldn’t be helpful.

I did manage to CT yesterday. Between the cold tap water and the ice machine down the hall, the water was 50 degrees to start…stayed in the tub up to my waist for 35 or 40 minutes. Today I’ve had lots of emotional upheaval…could be related to the diet, I guess, but it sure feels like hormones…specifically estrogen in excess. It’s a whole different ball game when CT temps get down to 50. Also today, I have little red spots on my chest. I’ve heard others describe this as a typical side effect of CT. I don’t know what it is though. I must say it was much easier getting into the 50 degrees this time than it was earlier this week.

Ok, signing off for now. I’ll get back on track with my eating tomorrow.

50

I was determined yesterday to have a 50 degree cold bath.  I bought 40 pounds of ice and put it in the tub with our frustratingly-warm 64 degree tap water…and viola! 50 degrees!  So let me just tell you…the 7 or 8 degrees between my previous low water temperature and 50 is…significant.  It was very hard to get in.  Took about 5 minutes for me to get fully submerged, including lots of “holy sh**!” and “OMGOMGOMGOMG.”  I have to say though, after I was finally submerged and numb it was WONDERFUL.  I’m not sure what it is about these cold baths that causes euphoria.  I’m sure there’s some biochemical thing going on there, because objectively it’s not all that exciting – it’s just lying in water. I stayed in for 30 minutes but I could have stayed longer.  I was starting to notice small muscle-shivers so I got out.

Afterward I was shivery for about a half hour, and stayed air-conditioned feeling till I went to bed.  Nothing I haven’t experienced before at warmer temps.  Here are the things I noticed that were different after a 50 degree bath, vs. a bath that’s 10 degrees warmer:

  • My hands didn’t work well after the bath, and I didn’t have full dexterity again before bed.  Clearly my body was shutting down blood flow to the extremities.  I’ve noticed that in the past, but this was to a much greater extent.  I tried typing about an hour after the tub and it took 3 times longer than usual.
  • My skin was much drier and tighter feeling after this soak than usual.
  • I’m down 3 pounds this morning (probably all water weight, but still.)

I notice when I’m cold after a bath it’s my natural inclination to cover up with clothes and blankets.  That’s because in the past, cold has always been an insult from outside my body.  Now if I put clothing on after a cold soak, it traps the cold IN.  I notice that if I put any clothing on, the part of me that’s covered stays cold while the part of me exposed to the (warmer) air warms up faster.  It’s hard to resist that urge to put things on, but I’m going to try.  I also keep my hat on the entire warming-up time.  Maybe that helps speed the warming process too, trapping in core body heat.

It was hard to get in water that cold, but if that’s what it takes to kill my appetite and cause the hormonal and physiological changes that Dr. K talks about, then I’m going to find a way to do it.  I’m going to start looking online for a used commercial ice maker.

I decided it’s silly to try to avoid coconut oil in the interest of seeing if i have some rare intolerance to it.  It’s my primary source of dietary fat these days.  Just going to continue on as I have been, diet-wise. I think I may also lay off the progesterone cream.  It seems to have helped my mood last month, but if the CT is going to causing positive changes I’d rather not be confusing my body with additional hormone supplements.  I don’t know…maybe I’ll use it just when I’m feeling moody.

Posting will be minimal over the next week.  I’m going to be traveling with just my iPad, which I don’t type very well on.  I’m hoping our hotel has a well-stocked ice machine.

Stuff

Odd data points today:

  • Weight is up a pound today to the highest it’s been since March.  Hooray!  (<– not for realz.)
  • Blood sugar is FABulous at 86 this morning…hm…well that’s nice.
  • Waist measures 39 – down an inch from last time I measured a couple weeks ago.  The rest of my measurements are unchanged.

I notice my biggest and most unpleasant detox symptom from CT seems to be fatigue.  It’s not every day and it doesn’t seem dependent on what I eat or how much I sleep…so I’m guessing it’s detox.  Also my sleep is all over the place – less predictable.  For the most part I’m sleeping really well – too much, even, instead of the nice and steady 10PM-6AM I had going prior to CT.

No CT yesterday.  Took a break in order to get some other things done.  Back to it today, probably.

No more bulletproof coffee for me.  I made it on Saturday and had it along with my BAB.  Too damn much food.  I was just too full.  Apparently there isn’t enough room in me for that much food AND coffee with butter and CO.  I keep trying to find a way to fit it into my diet because it tastes so good…but I haven’t found that yet.  I guess I’ll stop trying for now.  Bye bye coffee machine…you’re about to go the way of the toaster.

I was just browsing YouTube and came across this lovely video.  It has nothing to do with health, fitness, weight loss, or CT.  I just like it and thought I’d share:

All I’ve ever cared about much is helping people. I used to think I could do that by counseling people – being a therapist. I wanted to work with people who had body image problems and eating disorders…mostly because I know how painful these issues are and I know how many people suffer. My first step in becoming a helper and a healer was supposed to be to heal myself…so I’d know how to do it…and then to use my counseling skills and license to go help others. Unfortunately Jack Kruse changed all that. He showed me that my problems weren’t psychological at all…they’re physiological. My emotional eating and the body-hatred that stemmed from it aren’t about my parents not hugging me enough, or about feeling lonely most of my life. They’re about eating the SAD – a diet that leaves people literally starving inside, despite eating plenty of calories. In fact, depression (including feeling lonely much of my life) could very well have stemmed from poor nutrition, not the other way around.

I now feel emotionally healthy, with regard to my diet and body. This is because I learned that my problems couldn’t have been helped – I wasn’t to blame. It wasn’t a character flaw that made me fat. It was bad information.  I feel like it’s my purpose in life now to get myself healthy and then to help others get healthy. I don’t know how this is going to look yet. I don’t know if it’ll be a job or if it’ll be how I spend my free time. I do know it’ll happen though.